Chapter-1
Mrs. Saan closed the files, fetched the keys from the
handbag. Locked and put them back in and walked towards the washroom. On her
way checked her staff and noticed all left.
She checked standing before the mirror it, reflected
her five six frame from the waist to head. She watched her physique and was
proud of it; despite fifty plus age there was no sign of aging, and fortunately
she had no aging ailments and considered beautiful. She straightened some folds
of the sari, pulled and adjusted the blouse on her back and returned.
The security was locking some sections, watched him approaching;
took her belongings and walked towards the elevator.
Saan unlocked the car and tossed her handbag on the
next seat. She took her mobile and called home, after five rings her son
answered
‘Hello’
‘Ahin, you are early son? Have an apple, I am on the
way.’
‘Mama Dad asked me to wait, and he want me to drive
him to the party, and he asked not to prepare dinner for us.’ Call disconnected
abruptly.
Saan threw the mobile on the dashboard and the clock
showed 06:33 p.m. The parties celebrated twice or thrice a week and she got
used to dine alone at home.
&
Juar closed the files and stretched his arms, inhaled
and breathed out twice. Turned head sideways, placed arms in his lap and closed
his eyes. Juar was awake by the phone ring, it was dark expect the two lights overhead;
the time was fifteen minutes past seven. He slept for fifteen minutes. He
answered the call.
‘Yeah’
‘Am I talking to my man?’
‘No, He-man here’ he corrected
‘You do have a family, He-man, remember?’ She sighed
‘Yeah, sure, want me to get something?’
‘Yes, get some snacks and soft drink for your daughter’s
class tour.’
‘OK done, anything else’
‘Come early man, bye’ was a command, he smiled
‘Do I get anything in return?’
‘Let me think it over after you come.’
‘Bye Darla.’
Shut the pc, called the security to lock the office.
On the way switched off the light and walked down the stairs. He regularly
takes the stairs, as a part of exercise to cut the fat on his five seven
figure.
Mr. Juar was at the supermarket parking lot; smoked
and relaxed. Glancing at the new cars and saw his boss’s car. She left the
office long back, had a doubt. Was her car stolen or some trouble or
deliberately parked to avoid parking ticket or she might have come for the
shopping leisurely. He thought of searching her but, as it was none of his
business; threw the butt and started.
Saan came out of the supermarket with two carry
bags, adjusted bags in her left hand and took the keys and unlocked. Placed the
grocery bags carefully on the rear seat and moved out with the usual traffic.
&
She was alone at evenings after Ahin joined the
engineering college. Earlier, her son would wait till her return, they would
have tea snacks and play chess, sang songs or watch TV. Later, she prepares the
dinner. Meanwhile, Ahin would finish studies and they used to wait for Ahahr’s
return. After dinner, she’s busy with next day’s menu.
Saan was feeling lonely sitting in the hanging chair
in the balcony. After, reading the report of the murder of an old man for
wealth. She thought, ‘Why were these events occurring in the society? Was it
just for Money?’ She put herself in old man’s state and calculated a rough
figure came out. She drew her legs up, locked knees with her hands and tilted
head on the knees; a few minutes passed. She knew father and son wouldn’t be
returning home tonight. If they returned they would be a battle for tasty food
or new dress, money or pride. She felt cold, went inside and locked all the
doors and windows, prepared some bread sandwiches and milk for her dinner.
She called her son, he answered
‘Ahin, it's half past one and what is your dad doing
still?’
‘Maa, I had finished my dinner and dad’s with his
friends.’
‘Ahin you should take your father and start
immediately or, he would spoil the fun’ she was angry.
‘I can’t Maa, he and few of his friends are inside the
guesthouse’
She understood; a betting game.
‘Son, you come home now and safely, hello, got it’
confirmed
‘Maa, Maa I cannot drive now, I’d better sleep here
and return early morning.’ He admitted
She was angry ‘Ahin if you don’t listen to me now, you
would repent later, keep this in mind.’
‘Maa, Hello, you there. Hello,’ she disconnected.
Switched off the lights and lay on the bed. Sometimes
freedom and individualism are double-edged swords she thought. She gave her
child good education in reputed institutions and never made him feel unaffordable
or unhappy.
Saan
was unhappy thinking about Ahahr, his addition to alcohol and aggressive
nature. Nowadays, she doubted his behaviour and his new acquaintances. It made
sense, blamed self-for not spending intimate life together as earlier days. She
hardly finds the love and care for each other and could not point how and where
they were wrong. Despite sound financial support and affordability, she felt something
was missing. A dislike had been piling up inside him against her from the
moment he lost his job. His bank account was nil; helpless and depend even for
the pack of cigarette. She pities him besides angry for his laziness and for not
taking up a job. As he said, now it was her turn to earn and manage the family,
she agreed.
Chapter-2
The stock markets all over the world were sinking;
Saan thought it was the right time to off-load some shares of her portfolio. Checked
the prices of the shares and decided to sell some, as she had been holding for long
time. Noticed the markets diving all over the world and thought markets were
overbought and needed a correction. She knew it was the right time to get her
returns appreciated. She has various accounts with famed stock dealers. She dialled
a brokering house.
‘Hello’ receptionist answered
‘Hi this is Saan, would you please connect me to . . .
‘
‘Yes madam, would you please hold for . . . ‘
‘Good morning Mrs. Saan’
‘Good morning, how do you see the international markets?’
‘Not good madam, want to place an order?’
‘Yeah, please’ and she gave a list of shares without stop
loss and disconnected. Assuming, it would be a good return on her investment.
She sold thirty percent of her holding; she placed the piece of paper in her
bag.
She heard a knock on the door and saw Juar standing;
she always liked and loved his style, he never enters without a knock or a
smile, showed him a chair.
‘Good morning Juar’
‘Good morning Saan’
‘Where are these markets up to Juar?’ She asked him
‘Shangai, India and Singapore are moving parallel and Wall
Street on the move now.’
‘Did you get the tip’ she enquired
‘Yes, but? I don’t think it's reliable’ he said
‘You guessed the correction?
‘No’
‘Umm? So’
‘Can’t say? Still have to wait and watch, Dow-Jones,
CAC, DAX, and FTSE are gaining while the Nikki, Shanghai and Nifty stocks are sliding.
‘OK, what’s up?’
‘Saan, figures didn’t tally, I need you to check,
please.’
The figures, sheets and calculations had taken
more than forty minutes. Saan received a call and, she left the office.
&
Ahahr was sleeping in his room when Saan came home
early. She prepared tea and came into the living room, checked the messages and
walked up to her room. He was snoring loud; she changed her clothes and went to
the bathroom.
.
Ahin returned from college, threw his bag on the
sofa and searched for snacks. Saw a used
empty cup and knew his mother was home, went into parent’s room. He saw his
mother’s sari hanging on the chair. Came into the living room and switched the
TV, settled for music channel and increased the volume. He lies on the sofa and adjusted a cushion as a pillow.
Saan dabbed her face with a towel, applied the moisturiser
and went down.
‘Mama, give me something to eat’ pulled his mother’s
hand and made her sit on the sofa. He adjusted and placed his head in her lap.
‘Ahin, you are grown but, still you behave as a child,
my sweet baby’. She said and stroked his long hair. She sat for two minutes, later
slowly she placed her sons head on the cushion and went into the kitchen.
She returned with a plate full fries, bread sandwiches
and sauce.
Ahahr woke, dressed and came down, saw the mother and
son. The cruel look, in his eyes was of neglected and ignored. Saan saw him and
said ‘Aha, have some; I’ll get the coffee and sandwiches for you.’
He came to his son took the plate and threw it. The
contents scattered over the floor and the plate rolled and settled after few
rounds; the sound echoed the ache of an ill heart in the room.
Mother and son were astonished and Saan was the first
to react
‘What the hell is this? Are you insane, your behaviour
has become intolerable? Are you in your senses?’ We are vexed with you day by
day’. She said. Ahahr was coming closer to her, she pushed him away.
‘Day by day’, ah ‘day by day . . . My existence and
behaviour is intolerable, useless lady did you ever do anything I asked for,
cook any dish, bother for my needs, clothes or shoes and I asked for. . .’
‘Shut up Ahahr, So for all these years who had cooked
and fed you?, you eat the damn shit out on the roads all-day, come home late at
nights and force me to cook your choice. Cooked and packed for your damn friends
too. Don’t you remember?
‘Mama, Maa . . . You don’t prolong and you know what
the scene could be now?’ He Said and took her away into his room on the other
side of the kitchen.
‘Mother and son are alike and you always want to cause
pain and hurt me and I had been watching you both are trying to plan something against
me.’
Ahahr walked to his son’s room and kicked on the door,
it was locked. Went into kitchen, took a bottle of water, drank half and
pushed the refrigerator’s door hard and the contents rattled and spilled.
Ahin’s room door opened and Saan came out to face him
as her nerves were to break by this daily torture. Ahahr was looking at her in
the eyes and she knew at any moment he would hit her.
‘Do you think it as favour what you do? Then,
what about the time when I earned and fed you gluttons, and now, cooking had
become a great task to you ha. And how dare you talk about my friends. Useless
bitch, you save all my money and even for a damn pack of cigarettes you want me
to beg and is this the way a wife takes care of her husband.’ He was coming
closer to her.
‘Maintaining a family, isn’t it a man’s responsibility?
Did you ever think how hard it is to manage the house and your never ending wishes
and sky-high need?’ She was sarcastic.
‘Mama, mama why don’t you keep quiet, you know this
had been going for years. Leave this matter, please ma . . . ‘Ahin came and
stood by his mother blocking her
‘Dad, please, it's not fair what you do and it hurts
me and mama as well, at least for the sake of my examinations’.
‘You and your damn study, you talk about fair? And
what’s fair about that bitch, the way she behaves don’t you think it's unfair,
who the hell are you?’ Ahahr came to his son and raised his right hand.
Immediately, Saan came forward from behind her son, caught his hand and pushed.
Ahahr lost balance and fell on the sofa. He got up and
caught Saan by her neck and tried to punch her on the face. Meanwhile, Ahin
held his hand and yelled at him.
‘Will you stop this or want me to leave this house. It
had become a menace daily. What’s your problem, don’t you feel ashamed begging for
money, if you didn’t save for you, it’s a pity. Why don’t you earn at least for
your drink?’
‘You are preaching me the lessons of the life. Get out,
take your belongings and leave this house and right now. And if I see you again,
I’d would kill you and take care that bitch later’ Ahahr said and went upstairs
to his room, took the money from Saan’s purse and left the house. Ahin was
staring at her mother, she was weeping. He pitied his mother and thought how
she was tolerating him for all these years. He couldn’t understand at the
moment ‘was she a dependent on him? Or he’s dependent on her.
He thought why can’t she leave him? Saan wiped her
eyes with her sari and said
‘Ahin, you forget all this son, prepare for your examination
I’ll get some coffee’
‘No ma, I don’t feel like staying here anymore and, also
I am scared to leave you alone in this house, why don’t you leave him to hell?’
‘Ahin’ it was a roar, both were silent for a while. After
a while she said
‘You get into your room and concentrate on your study,
I’ll get some coffee. Forget this mess it’s nothing new now.’ She went inside
her kitchen. Ahin came and stood in the kitchen doorway and said
‘Its nothing and old to you but, it gives a squeeze on
my nerves ma. I’d better stay at my friend’s place till I finished my examinations
and daily I’d come and see you in your husband’s absence OK.’
‘I don’t know what to do? I feel like killing myself.
I am tired of this life and only it’s you that I am alive’ she said and was looking
at the bubbling hot water.
‘Ahin’, she was to say something but he interrupted
her
‘Ma, I’d be studying at nights with my friend OK and
stay till you comeback from the office and leave before that man’s bark.’
His words surprised her; she stared him. She was
seeing a grown-up man, a man capable to taking a decision for his future, a man
who loves his mother, a man fit to earn and live for himself. She was in a whirlpool
of thoughts. A few minutes later, Ahin
appeared with backpack and a few books in his hand, hugged her and left the
house. She saw him leaving and either blessed him or wished good luck for his
examinations. Quickly, she ran outside and stood watching him go. His gait
showed his confidence; he turned around and waved and she too waved him back.
Chapter-3
Ahahr had been waiting for the last fifteen minutes
and was restless. With frustration, he tried to enter the conference room. He
was stopped by one of the staff; asked him to wait for few more minutes, and Ahahr
abused and pushed him. He fell on the floor, other staff noticed and argued. Juar
sent the file into the conference room and heard the voices behind his cubicle.
Stood and saw, some of his colleagues were arguing with Ahahr. He rushed and took
him to the visitors lounge. Juar asked him to wait. He settled on a couch with
a cigarette.
After five minutes, Saan with the directors came out.
She saw her husband and went to her cabin took some money from her handbag and
returned to the visitors lounge.
‘Juar, please get these, two copies each’ she said, he
nodded and took the papers. As, he was leaving the lounge he heard.
‘You bitch you want me to beg always? Did this
wilfully, why didn’t you leave the money at home? I had been waiting here past
half an hour, what were you doing? Got fucked.’
‘Ahahr please stop . . . Ahahr listen to me.’
Juar heard a splash like sound behind. He turned around
and saw Ahahr caught the braid and was trying to hit her again. Juar
immediately, ran towards him and held his right hand
‘Sir, Sir, please Mr. Ahahr leave her, please leave
her’ he said.
A heavy blow landed on the Juar’s jaw and heard ‘mind
your business.’ He could not bear it any longer, he caught of Ahahr throat with
left hand punched him once on the face and twice in the stomach. Ahahr left
Saan and was trying to defend himself.
‘No Juar, No’ Saan said but, Juar was choking Ahahr
and his right fist rose. Ahahr struggled for breath. Saan was scared and was asking
him to leave her husband; she was pulling Juar’s hand. But he was applying full
strength of his left hand on the throat and his right fist still aimed and
positioned at the face.
‘Juar leave him . . . He is my husband Juar . . . Juar’
she was trying to loosen Juar’s grip. With the look on Ahahr’s face, she
understood something was going to happen. She slapped Juar on left cheek and
shouted at him. Juar pushed Ahahr away and, with the same left hand caught her
by the throat and aimed his right fist directly on to her face. But quickly,
realized and released her. She terrified at his look; his eyes were burning
with the anger.
‘I am Sorry Saan’ Juar said and was leaving the
lounge. Saan blocked his way and said ‘He kicks me for the money and now you
want to hit me. You are no different and make me think that all men are alike
in showing their power. Juar kill me and here ends everybody’s problem.’ She
took Juar both hands to her throat and said.
Juar saw Ahahr getting up slowly wiping the blood off
his mouth. Ahahr said with anger ‘I’ll kill you bastard. You hit me in your
office. Come out and you are dead, son of a bitch.’ He took a deep breath and
said
‘So, you have been screwing her at the office and that’s
the reason she’s against me and dares to challenge’ and continued ‘next time,
if I see you both I’ll kill you . . . Kill you both.’
Juar turned back and was staring at him. Meanwhile,
Mrs. Ann Fairen walked to him leaving Saan, held his shoulders with both her hands
and said
‘Juar have control on yourself son, don’t push this
further, its their family matter understand, don’t mess up. Please leave and
calm yourself.’
Juar looked at Ahahr and his wife; came out and made
his way through amid the staff. Went to his table, took the pack of cigarettes
and returned to the lounge but, other staff stopped him. He said ‘Hey, It's all
right. I want to apologize, let me.’ Someone said ‘Don’t fuel it up Juar. Let
the matter cool.’
Juar agreed and left the office, walked down,
lit a cigarette and went to the cafeteria.
&
Juar could felt a mild pain and on his cheek. He
placed the hot coffee mug to his cheek for some relief; repeated the warming
until the mug was half. Thought he made a mistake interfering between their
personal matters. However he could not tolerate Ahahr hitting her and her slapping
him. Some enjoyed the show. While, few were happy as the incident took place before
them. Some always spoke the trash, enjoyed the most.
Ahahr gave a clear picture of their family today, Saan’s
miserable, desperate and pitiable life with an alcoholic husband. He husband
was a good man; hardworking type, what made him turn his life to alcoholic?
Juar met him only once, at an official family day few years ago. By his talk,
Juar calculated him to be a cool and sensible man. After his retirement, he met
him twice and found a change in his behaviour. His dependent nature was obvious;
which made him addict and forget for a while himself. After all, ‘a man must
respect his wife, understand and love’, it was the only philosophy Juar learned
and understood well.
Saan nowadays seemed worried, especially on the
payday. He noticed the moment the salary credited at bank; immediately, she
transfers the money to other accounts. Her husband might have had her cards or
cheque’s. If she delayed, she could be with no money. Juar guessed it and his
guess was the fact.
Saan spent most of her time alone in her cabin.
Earlier, after the lunch she’d talk about the dress with the other women and
enjoyed the time spent. For the past few months, her behaviour was adamant and
sometimes intolerant. She even, started mumbling at him often, but never said anything
in particular. Work wise she is capable as an executive: by his help of the
analysis of the market depths and with some fluke predictions
she gained good profits in stocks. She trusted him more than any of her other
staff. Sometimes felt proud but today; he was in the trash when it came to
family matter. Even he could have reacted the same way as she did, if it
happened with him. He was hurt and ashamed the moment he remembered the
incident and his blood rushed twice the speed. He calmed himself thinking not
push further.
&
After twenty minutes, Juar saw Ahahr and Saan coming
towards the parking lot. She gave him something while he was talking. Later, her
car was driven away rashly.
Juar’s anger made him feel weak and hungry. He ordered
some snacks and another coffee. He returned to his table, took the copies and
buzzed for the boy, no one attended him; there was no one to send them to his boss. All were at lunchroom except them.
Saan was in her cabin with her head facing down
and resting on her both palms. He walked to her cabin, she didn’t notice him.
Knocked twice on the glass door and walked in. She raised her head, wiped her
tears with her hankie. He threw the papers before her and returned to his place.
She was watching him in regretting silence. His table was first in the row. He could
see her through the glass door and she too has a view the staff. Juar received
a call and was speaking, and revolved his chair around to avoid her sight.
&
The staff had lunch with serious discussions and all
satisfied with their conclusions and judgements, an echo filled the lunchroom.
Some finished their lunch earlier to know the status of post lunch of their
boss and Juar.
Mrs. Ann Fairen disliked the talk, finished before
others and came to Saan’s cabin. Saan was staring at something and the look
gave a sad feeling to Mrs. Ann Fairen. She approached and pulled a chair and
occupied beside her.
‘Saan,’
She turned her chair. Mrs. Ann Fairen noticed her
swollen face and said in cool and low voice ‘If you don’t mind, allow me to say
. . .’
‘It's alright, you can Ann’
‘Dear, I feel sorry, about the incident this morning.
Either mend yourself, or try to mend his behaviour and never let these issues
pop up at office.’ Ann placed her right hand on Saan’s shoulder and said
‘I can understand, and take liberty to speak. Don’t let
him come to the office and in that state. And I knew well about these men when
they are drunk.’ Saan was listening quietly.
‘I think you are getting at what I am saying. Drunken
mind utter all nonsense and trash, we know and everybody knew it. But, everyone
gets a voice for a gossip, useless talk and that made me pity you. I know you for
many years and can shut the stinking mouths but, for how long?’ She took Saan’s
hand into her hand.
Saan’s eyes filled with tears; she bent on Mrs. Ann
Fairen shoulder and was weeping. She did not stop her, knew the plight of a
woman now. A few seconds passed with tears for both.
‘Dear you give him what he wants and leave him for
himself, don’t talk or argue for anything, its for him to decide, OK. Now, you
have had enough heartbreak, leave him to his fate, we can’t change them or turn
back the time. Don’t feel bad for what I said. I faced similar in my life too
and can understand it to its depth.’ She said, and saw the staff returning to
their seats.
‘As, you have a grown-up son, make yourself
strong and don’t let these incidents shadow him anytime. You can rely on me for
any help. I will pray you dear, God bless you, child.’ Mrs. Ann Fairen wiped her
tears and left the cabin.
&
At 04:45 p.m., Juar compiled the figures and sent it
to Saan’s cabin. She wasn’t there. As, he was not feeling like staying in the
office and left for coffee. Saan was stepping out of the elevator; he saw her,
his agony made him avoid eye contact. Stepped aside, walked away and took
the stair. Saan was calling him; he heard her but pretended as though he didn’t.
Turned left and took another flight of steps down. She watched him; she noticed
the other staff coming towards the elevator; she walked to her cabin and was
busy for the next hour.
The office was empty at 06:40 p.m. Except Saan and
Juar. Saan thought of speaking to him and get excused but, didn’t dare. She
was ashamed to face him for the words her husband. She cleared her desk, came out of her cabin and walked towards Juar.
Saan saw him busy talking over the phone and checking the
papers. She didn’t dare to call him, came out of office and went to the parking
lot, checked for the car keys and remembered, her husband took the car. Walked
on the main road and decided to travel by the bus. Was not willing to reach
home early, and strolled to the bus stop; stood there for twenty minutes and
deliberately let few buses. She was afraid; not prepared to face her husband, and
thought what the consequences could be at home. Her life was getting squeezed
hard day after day with one issue or the other. Despite her happy corporate elite
and financial position: she was tolerating the pain and grief in silence. A
group of four women were laughing. She watched them and pitied herself.
Juar took his belongings and walked out to the
bike. Lit a cigarette, morning incident rolled frame by frame but, he made up
himself to remain cool. Started his bike and was waiting for the traffic to give
way, as he was to take a turn. Meanwhile, he turned his head and saw Saan at
the bus stop, she was watching him. He felt bad and sorry for the poor woman.
She was still staring him. There was a gap in the flow of traffic. He speed up, took a right turn and drove away.
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